Life According to a Three Year Old

I remember when I worried that I wouldn't have anything to write about if I ended up starting this whole blogging thing. Well, all of the following was said well before noon today. No problems getting blogging material around here, that's for sure.

Scenario #1:
(Background: Lauryn always asks why Daddy can't stay home with us. So we have talked about how he goes to work to get money so we can buy the things we need...)
L: Daddy, can you stay home today?
B: No, I have to go to work.
L: Oh. Well, be sure to buy a lot of money at work today so we can get lots of toys for Christmas.

Oh to see the fruits of your labor. Now I feel we have truly succeeded in our quest to teach her about the important things in life.

Scenario #2:
L: Mommy! I locked the door!
Me: Yes, I know. Please unlock it so I can come in the house. (I was in the garage)
L: Ok. Sorry, Mom.
Me: That's ok. Just be careful not to do that next time.
L: Yeah. I just had to lock the door so bugs won't open it with their little wings (**flapping arms furiuosly**)
Me: (???)

Scenario #3:
*In Wal-Mart*
L: Ewwwwww!!
Me: What is it?
L: What's that thing?!? (Pointing to a ridiculously huge plastic turkey hanging from the holiday display)
Me: Oh, it's a turkey.
L: I don't like turkey.
Me: Yes you do! Remember, you ate some turkey on your sandwich the other day.
L: I just like the food kind of turkey, not the animal kind.

*Note to self: Do not explain where bacon, ham, and cheeseburgers come from anytime soon.

Scenario #4:
L: I can't wait for Christmas
Me: I know! It's so much fun!
L: We'll have to tell Santa exactly what we want him to bring us, right?
Me: Yes.
L: Yes. Because I do not want a magazine.

I did not realize Santa was giving out subscriptions this year. She must know something I don't!