An Open Letter to Our Friends at Lillian Vernon:
Dear Lillian and your people,
Thank you for mailing me the 13 different catalogs in the month of December. You really made it helpful to decide on what to get my child for Christmas. She loves looking through toy catalogs, and since we got a new one in the mail from you practically every day, she was never short on "reading" material.
Imagine my utter joy when she came bounding into my bedroom one afternoon, catalog in hand, pointing furiously at the picture of your 24-piece Disney Dress Up Trunk and squealing that THAT was exactly what she wanted for Christmas.
She had been asking for princess dresses since July, and thanks to your kind persistence in mailing me an average of 2.3 catalogs per day in the month of December, I was able to stumble across the picture of the Disney Dress Up Trunk. I figured it was the perfect solution to my 3 year old's ONLY request from Santa.
For weeks, I had browsed the stores in search of the (6) specific princess dresses she was requesting. In finding that they all retailed for no less than $30 each, I didn't see how it was possible.
I mean, Santa has a budget. And a mortgage. And it was either those dresses or her college education. A toss up, I know.
When the magical day arrived and the box was delivered, with big black letters on the front reading Lillian Vernon, I was so excited to take it into my bedroom, open it up, and marvel at your genius. I mean, what a brilliant idea to market a princess trunk containing FOUR princess dresses, shoes and accessories. For less than $30 TOTAL!
About this time, the old saying "You get what you pay for" came to mind. As I stood there in my bedroom holding pieces of dresses, my vision of a magical Christmas morning slipped away.
If I'm not mistaken, the catalog advertised four dresses. What arrived from your company included 3 skirts and 4 tops (shirts). PIECES of dresses. The child is expected to put together her own ensembles, which hopefully will bear at least a slight resemblance of each of the Disney princesses.
And she can just forget it if a friend is over and one wants to be Snow White while the other is Cinderella. There is but ONE blue skirt, so the skirt must be shared. How ridiculous of me to think there might be one skirt for each top.
And as a side note, I believe there might be a sizing error in your advertisement. What read in the catalog as 2-4 years, should actually read 2-4 months. That is roughly the age of a child that each of these pieces of clothing would fit.
When Christmas morning arrived, my 3 year old (who actually "gets" Christmas this year) squealed with excitement as she ran into the living room to discover what Santa brought her. She looked over the "dresses" and was quiet for a minute.
Finally, she spoke, saying, "Um, actually...I didn't ask for shirts."
It was like a knife through my heart. And my plan to somehow hide the truth that she did, in fact, get shirts from Santa, was foiled. Despite our best efforts and precise arranging of those pieces, we couldn't fool a 3 year old obsessed with princess dresses.
Thankfully, my precious daughter has a sweet heart and a loving spirit. Instead of being devastated when she wasn't greeted on Christmas morning with big, flowing princess gowns (but pieces of dresses made from thin, and likely flammable fabric) she was actually excited.
She began holding up all of her pieces and said things like, "How beautiful!" and, "It's just gorgeous!". After about 10 minutes she was begging to wear the "dresses" to breakfast and in the car to Mimi's house.
My little girl was thrilled with her gift from Santa. Her mother, on the other hand, was defeated. We have always loved your products and actually own a monogrammed backpack or two. But I should probably think twice the next time I see something I would consider to be a "bargain" in your catalog.
Oh, and one more thing. We also ordered the portable cd/karaoke machine, and she loves it. But seriously, SIX "C" Batteries???
Oh, well. College educations are overrated.
Sincerely,
Me
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7 comments:
you should TOTALLY send this. I'm not even kidding.
When my arm stops hurting from falling completely out of my chair from laughter, I'm going to read this again. And again. And I'm with Meredith - I TOTALLY think you should send this in. Not in any sort of malicious way, but it might grant you some sort of extra catalog in January - you never know!
Totally misleading ad - you'd have to zoom in REAL close to see that the "dresses" are 2-pieces.
On the other hand, Macy will be thrilled to play with them. She'll pretend she's Jazz-a-min since her belly is showing. So, in theory - doesn't that make 5 princesses for the price of 4??? :-)
P.S. your favorite Christmas song (under your favorites)- the video has been deleted so now I"m curious what song it was! =)
Ok Jess, I fixed it!
no...not potty training yet, but JD wants to get her thinking about it. So, we're just showing it to her, talking about it, etc. He's way more anxious than me. :)
Ok- seriously...if you don't send this, I am going to. I can just imagine how you felt when she saw it. It made me want to cry. Unfortunately, I was laughing too hard and was, therefore, unable to display my true emotions.
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