I shared these pictures on Facebook yesterday in honor of our sweet Lauryn turning 9 years old. Yes, NINE years old. As in, one less than ten. As in, halfway to 18. As in, I think I may need some counseling because I can't make time stop no matter how hard I try and every time I think about her being nine years old I just want to cry!! 

But at the same time...

...I am amazed. 

Amazed at how fearfully and wonderfully made this beautiful child is. 

When she was born, she had some breathing issues. She spent three days in the NICU. I spent the first several months of her life worrying. 

Worrying that she didn't get enough oxygen (they didn't let her cry at birth as she was immediately intubated) . Worrying that it was something I had done wrong in my pregnancy.

Worrying that I wouldn't do a good job taking care of her and teaching her and raising her.

That was nine years ago. I'd like to think I've done a little growing myself in the past nine years. I realize now that worrying is just another way of saying that I don't trust God. Saying that the God of creation, who blessed us with this child, would somehow turn His back on us and let us flounder. That He didn't already have an amazing plan for her life.

This is not to say that I don't still worry. The difference is that when I catch myself doing it, I immediately find relief in God's promises and in His truths. There has never been more evidence of God's love for us than when I look into the eyes of my children.

This child. 

At nine years old, Lauryn, you have more compassion, sensitivity, and insight than most adults I know. You are sensitive not only to other people and their feelings, but you have a spiritual sensitivity that astounds me. Sometimes when you talk to us about your "thoughts", I am overwhelmed with humility and am humbled beyond words. How is it that God entrusted US to be your parents? How - when YOU teach US more every single day than I can even put into words?  

You have a deep understanding of what is right and wrong. You are genuinely heartbroken for people who are hurt or suffering. You care more than your little heart can take sometimes, I'm afraid.

You are harder on yourself than anyone else could be. You hold the same standards for others that you do for yourself. Unfortunately you have learned the hard way that not everyone thinks or acts the way you do. But oh, what a world it would be if they did! 

You stump us with your questions and ideas. From random thoughts like, "Do they have cereal in every part of the world? Is it like our cereal or is it a different type of grain?" to more sensitive (and out of the blue) thoughts like, "I wouldn't want any boy to like me just because I'm pretty or because of the clothes I wear. People should like you for the way you are on the inside. That's what really matters." (How can it be that you picked up on that at 9 years old, while some grown adults have yet to learn that lesson!?) 

You love your sister. You include her in (almost) everything you do. Sure, you argue about what activity to do first and you have learned the art of making snarky comments when you disagree, but I have never seen two sisters get along so well. Allie is blessed to have you as a role model.

You enjoy playing with American Girl dolls and you love jewelry. You are passionate about writing and love to write stories. You have even come to me asking if you could create your own blog (grandparents, this is a work in progress, but you will definitely be kept in the loop! :) 

God gave you the gift of music. You are naturally musical and can memorize a piano piece after just a few run-throughs. You compete well above your age level, and you just secured a position on an ensemble team.  You are academically gifted as well, thriving in your advanced classes and scoring at the top of your grade level on the standardized tests you've had to start taking this year.

You are interested in sewing and have made a few dresses for your dolls by hand stitching. I guess we will have to bring out the sewing machine this summer! You love watching Little House on the Prairie and have become very interested in pioneer life.

I feel I could write for days about the amazing child that you are and the incredible young lady you are growing up to be. You light up our world and keep us on our toes. You made us parents nine years ago. We couldn't be more proud of you and can't wait to see God's plan for your life unfold in the coming years.

Happy birthday Lauryn! We love you!!