In My Daughters' Eyes: Hope

It has taken me two weeks to write this post. Many will not understand what the fuss is about. And I do understand that. But for us, this is a huge event in our lives. Our family dog passed away two weeks ago and we have been devastated. There are lots of details below that may bore some people to tears! But this is part of our family's story and this blog is to record details that I don't want to forget.

Two weeks ago today, we got the news from the vet that our sweet dog Hope was a very sick girl. We knew she wasn't doing well, but we had no idea how bad it was. She simply stopped eating. One day she only ate about half of her breakfast. The next day she kind of just picked at her food throughout the day. By the third day, she wouldn't touch her food. The only thing I could get her to eat was boiled chicken.

Yes, I bought a whole chicken and cooked it just for her.

On the fourth day, she wouldn't even touch that. We tried ice cream, pizza, chips/crackers - all the things that were "forbidden" to her! But she would just sniff whatever we were offering, and then turn her head.

After this had gone on for almost a week, we took her in to the vet. Her regular doctor was out of the office so we saw the number one guy - the vet whose name is on the front of the building! We felt confident he could provide some answers.

Backing up a little, she had just been there two weeks prior for bloodwork just to re-check a separate issue with her liver/gallbladder. She had been on medication for about 6 months and everything looked to be stable based on that bloodwork. With that knowledge, he assumed she had a gastrointestinal infection and put her on antibiotics.

Long story short, 3 days later and almost no food to speak of in her stomach, we took her back in. The hope was that we would hook her up to an iv and get some nutrients back into her system so she could get her strength back to fight whatever she was sick with.

I dropped her off that afternoon, then went to pick the girls up from school. We assumed she would stay overnight and just told the vet to call if something came up.

When the vet called around 5:00 that evening, I was not prepared for the news he shared. No where close to prepared. We thought she would spend the night, then we'd pick her up over the weekend and she would be fine. Instead, he told me that she was very, very sick. Her bloodwork showed significant organ failure (his exact words were "she is in renal failure") and there was no treatment option available. He was just as shocked as we were, as three weeks earlier her bloodwork looked ok.

Looking back, we should have known. She had been vomiting daily for a while. And to spare lots of details, because of how much hair she has under her tail, we had been having to do lots of clean up after she went outside to potty. And then finally, knowing that she had not eaten in almost 10 days, we knew we were looking at a very bad situation.

Knowing we had no options, Brent went to the vet to pick her up and we made an appointment for Saturday morning. Our sweet puppy was dying and if she wasn't in pain at the moment, it wouldn't be long before she would begin to suffer. We just couldn't bear that thought.

Driving her to the vet that morning was one of the most difficult things we have ever done. My wonderful sister came over to stay with the girls. They sobbed as they hugged her goodbye. As the pain is still pretty raw, I won't go into detail. She went peacefully, with her "parents" standing at her side the whole time.

This is so hard to explain to anyone who doesn't have a pet in their home. And more importantly, a pet who is most certainly a family member. God created these animals for us to care for. He created within us an ability to love them. I believe that our relationships with our pets - this unconditional love they show to us, day after day, year after year, no matter what we do or who we are- is reflective in some way of the same kind of love God has for us. Unwavering. Unfailing. Unconditional. No matter what.

Hope was our first "baby". I got to practice my maternal instinct on her :) She was a dog, of course, but she had such a kind, peaceful, and gentle spirit within her - certainly more tangible than in many humans I have encountered in my life. She was never far away from our girls from the day we brought them home from the hospital. She adored them and definitely protected them in her own way.

We miss her terribly. It is truly a loss for our family. She was one of a kind and we will never forget her!

First day home - we adopted Hope when she was 4 months old.